 Sunday, November 06, 2005
hmm, life is boring and i dun have a sense of direction, i have no idea where to head. i am jus wandering life when it comes, i think that i am living such an awful like.
work is becoming very boring to me, it is a hindrance i feel now. although i am earning, i am beginning to think that its actually useless for me. i do not need all thhat money, i jus feel belonged to pizza hut and have nothing to do. or so i think. in ngee ann, i have so much to catch up on. and my japanese, they jus wont let me change the date and waste my whole wednesday! y r the sch clerks so lazy? we pay so much for the course and they jus say my reason is invalid.. i should have jus told her.. "i hate the stupid teacher who speaks jap throughout the whole lesson, forgetting that we are english speakers, she jus thinks that she is so fluent in her language she jus spews it all over! she is not even teaching, she is talkin to herself! how the fuck am i gg to understand if she speaks so fast and dun spare a thought for her students? and i wait.. 3 whole hrs jus to hear her talking to herself? i am failin japanese for sure!" maybe then, she will change my clz for me and also, i might say a thing or two to her.. "ur a very lazy clerk, bitch.." haiz.. i am so upset with my life.. at a stupid time like this, i go to sch, come to work and go home, i slp.. i go to sch again and work again.
ppl from pizza hut, is their care genuine? or is it jus so fake? i dun feel anything.. ive been workin so long.. haiz. and i feel so lost now, i jus feel very lost. even ppl from clz, i duno how real are they? i really wish i can change a course, go to another. but, i know that i have got no choice..
nothing is gg to help me find direction.. i think i am going the wrong way. my heart is all scrunched up, everytime i think how useless my life is right now, i feel like screaming so damn loudly.. i wanto let it all out. but, i cant. i havent seen faizal for so long.. nor can i really talk to him. sometimess, being single.. would help, so i wouldnt think "how come ive got a bf, but it seems like i dun have one.. " i cannot blame him nor myself, its no one's fault.. we have been together so long, it was much easier last time being in the same sch, the time we have together now, is so little.. haiz.. and i keep thinking that i dun have a bf.. it doesnt bother me when we dun meet up so much, but when i know i cannot see him, i will jus be so frustrated..
burnt my stupid arm today, yunlong accidentally hit me.. and tt lim ask long to help me put the cream.. i feel like slapping him! haiz.. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! why.. haiz..
i jus feel so damn LOST! i dont know what to do.. should i quit my job and set on studyin all the way! but, i know i wont have enought to spend on.. i know. yet, something about pizza hut is making me wanto quit, and its not the pay.. haiz.
and SCHOOL! i duno about statistics and physcis, lecturer keep saying that its ez its ez! its not! is it cause i dun listen in clz, or im a total failure.. or i woork too much and hhave no time for revision? i always get too tired and dun have the energy to cont'd.. im FRUSTRATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i feel so ANGRY inside.. i feel so much like shouting out all the problems i have kept inside for so long.. gtg now.
take care..
from Regynna 2 u @ 10:23 PM
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